Tiring

My head hurts, my chest feels worse.

Why do we have to quarrel every single time we get in touch? Why do you always have to use that tone of voice on me when we speak, which leads me to interpret your SMS as having the same tone. How can you expect me to warm up to you when I have to raise my defenses just so I won't be blamed (again)? Yeah, maybe I am too sensitive, too bratty, too whatever. I don't know. I seem to not understand your lingo anymore and it seems you cannot decipher mine either. Or maybe, just maybe, over the past three years we've changed a lot without even noticing it.

Stop being blind and see the fact that I am not the only one to blame for every outburst I have. Check how you speak, be conscious of the words you use, see what non verbal cues you produce. You must know by now what stuff lead me react negatively.

Do not expect me to apologize right away. I am a very proud person and accepting that I am wrong takes time, lots of it. If you get tired of waiting, don't force me to say it lest you be met with an insencere one and you know what happens next.

We've been together for almost three years now. I have changed and so have you. I don't know what the point of this last paragraph is. So there.

History Maker er.. Untamed

What on earth happened to your blog Anniefair?! I was caught off guard! I was expecting a dark facade and then a very white template hits my eyes. You can just imagine my moment of unbelief (and light blindness) when I clicked your link. To top that off, you don't have a tagboard or comment area where I can place this whole thingamajig so I had to make a whole entry just to blurt out how shocking the new look of your blog was. Whew! That was a long sentence.

Anyway, read your latest entry and it seems to be a rebut to my entry. Haha! At least I know you read my stuff.

First of all, why on earth do you lack self confidence when there you are reaping 1.0s as well? That's kind of an insult to someone like me who barely makes to the CS or more so the US list. Tsk tsk.. Quoting from Tickle Me Emo "you're not the only one with issues you know!" Hehe.. just kidding (or not).. hahaha..

Secondly, kindly place a comment area on you new blog so next time I don't have to make an entry just to comment on how bright your chosen template was.

Wahaha! I'm being praning today! Well, why not? It's my birthday. I have all the right to be one.

Something went wrong with my last entry. The system won't allow me to have spaces for every paragraph so bear with it. It's kinda irritating though.

Blah blah blah.. Happy birthday to me!

Before 20

"Jelai has a birthday, we're so glad.

Let us see how many she has had.

As we count the candles we are told:

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,

eleven,twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen!

Jelai is nineteen years old."

It's my last year as a teen-ager and for the first time I felt the want to stop time so that I will not grow older. What bothers me is not the fact that I have turned nineteen but the matter that in a years time, I will no longer be a teen-ager. It somehow overwhelms me with the feeling of much more added responsibilities and the force to mature - to "act my age".

While other people are thinking about going to graduate school, not getting a job right after graduation, I somehow feel the need to get a job as soon (or in at most three months) after I graduate. I feel the need to earn and save just to satisfy my needs (and some wants) without being a burden to my parents anymore. Guilt strikes me whenever my mom complains that we don't have enough money for this and that. I feel as if I need to earn just so she can take me off the Expenses List.

Ah money! If only I have to think only about myself, that would indeed be easier.

Six people have already greeted at the stroke of 12 today. I'm expecting more greetings tomorrow.

To everyone else who haven't sent their greetings yet, you can convert every message to hundred peso bills, that would really be of help. :D But since most of us are on vacation mode, I know we can barely scratch a peso from our pockets. With this matter at hand, I half-heartedly thank you for your greetings.

Kidding (or not).. :D

Anyway, Spiderman 3's first showing date is today. To everyone planning to watch it on IMAX, don't even think it's possible if you haven't had your reservations yet. It's booked til the sixth. So if you want to catch it on the first showing date, better settle with a regular cinema. Too bad, I'm in the province. Can't watch it on the first showing date, on the first showing time and be a everybody else's spoiler. That takes the fun away.

My hair's straight, I'm getting fat, I don't have a summer love (not that I'm looking for one but I want to get even with Alex's summer love last year *evil grin*), what's to entertain me this vacation?

Ah! I'm ranting too much nonsense! Probably caused by the lack of sleep I have incurred this past week I spent in Manila.

Got to have my beauty rest for later's celebration (if ever there's gonna be one).

Nighty night.. Happy birthday to me!