Truth

I didn't plan of going public about what happened this summer concerning me and a certain pastor who is, let's hide by the name Robert. But since he went all out about his version, I would want to air my side.

I highly disagree with your statement that I was the first who gave you attention, more so liked you. If you would remember clearly as I do for I do not forget first instances like that, you were the first who approached me, challenged me to several games of Word Factory. You were the one who wanted to be close to me because of your "goal" that your friend (who happens to be my ex-boyfriend) and I be reunited. I am naturally friendly and never expected that you would use that friendliness against me.

After the one week sport's festival, I didn't expect to hear from you, ever again since the event was over and we really had nothing more to talk about. You were the one who kept sending me text messages. I replied to those messages without malice, without any assumption, with nothing but friendliness. I mentioned in one of our conversations that I was a sucker for chocolate cakes. I also asked you where I could buy a hammock since I've been looking for it for a long time. Guess what? When you returned from Manila, you gave me a half roll of Goldilocks chocolate cake and a blue hammock. I offered to pay for the latter but you refused saying that it was your birthday gift to me.

You told me you were falling for me. I did not encourage you because I already had a boyfriend. It came to the point that you were even willing to give your present relationship up just so you could woo me. Yes, it also came to the point that I started liking you because of your edge in music and you know that well.

We became closer during the TV Production Camp (that I fully regret). After the said camp you started distancing yourself from me which I found weird at the moment that's why I wrote you a letter. In that letter I explained my side. I reiterated that I wanted nothing but platonic relationship between us, that I know how hurt your girlfriend is feeling. There was nothing in that letter to make you assume that I am running after you. There was NOTHING in that letter that would imply that I was in love with you or anything of the sort. That letter was a letter of hurt, of angst and of goodbyes to the romantic relationship I knew you wanted.

What hurts me dear pastor, is your telling Pastor Jubi that I was the one who liked you first and that I needed advising. With all due respect, ikaw ang patay na patay sa akin. I clearly remember you saying "darating ang araw mapapaibig din kita." Well, guess what? That day will never ever come.

That was a summer thing and summer is over so why are you still wallowing in it's memories? You are so insecure with what other people will say about you that you turn stories upside down just to make your oh so mighty, oh so clean pastor status intact and in return ruin my reputation. Just think of it, what would people think of me now? That I am a boyfriend thief? Hell no! I am happy with Alex. We have our dark days but we're fine.

Of your 25 years of existence you have the emotional maturity of a teen ager who experienced this kind of scenario for the first time. Yes maybe it was your first time, pero wag lang sarili mo ang isipin mo. What if I am not strong in faith and would stumble because of your acts of self righteousness?

Is this why you said you were sorry a couple of weeks ago? Is it because you have started to ruin me slowly? It's a good thing I'm here in Manila, I have a lot of diversion and the fact that I am anonymous helps a lot.

I am mad and right now I won't ask for forgiveness for whatever I just wrote.